Lying or Distortion? Relationship Author expert Dr. Molly Barrow
As honest as we believe that we are, and strive to be, we are also prone to humiliation, embarrassment, sadness and anger in certain situations. Emotional intensity distorts memory, especially about formative events that have a pro-found influence on our lives. If an event causes too much pain and anger, fabrications and lies may be emotionally necessary to mask and insulate the hurtful memory.How an event is labeled and remembered is sometimes more important psychologically than what really happened.
The same event for two different children may be a trauma for one and uneventful for another. If a thief steals a child’s bike and the child assumes that he will just get a new bike, then it is not a big deal. However, if a child feels violated by the thief, or a parent beats them for the loss, then it becomes a traumatic memory.
On the other hand, sometimes people minimize what really happened too much. Incest, alcoholism, rape, early sexual experimentation, abandonment, the deaths of loved ones, physical and verbal abuse, shame or humiliation—all of these are significant occurrences that impact the way we love others. Problems occur when, as adults, we deny traumatic memories, whitewashing our childhood. The trauma remains in the form of hidden glitches in our psyches, directly affecting our relationships. Truth is evasive so have a healthy skepticism when you are learning about a new partner. As you gather information make sure you pay very close attention to past behavior, as “Actions do speak louder than words.”
Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Author’s Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff. To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com.To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: My Relationship Answers http://www.blogtalkradio.com
The same event for two different children may be a trauma for one and uneventful for another. If a thief steals a child’s bike and the child assumes that he will just get a new bike, then it is not a big deal. However, if a child feels violated by the thief, or a parent beats them for the loss, then it becomes a traumatic memory.
On the other hand, sometimes people minimize what really happened too much. Incest, alcoholism, rape, early sexual experimentation, abandonment, the deaths of loved ones, physical and verbal abuse, shame or humiliation—all of these are significant occurrences that impact the way we love others. Problems occur when, as adults, we deny traumatic memories, whitewashing our childhood. The trauma remains in the form of hidden glitches in our psyches, directly affecting our relationships. Truth is evasive so have a healthy skepticism when you are learning about a new partner. As you gather information make sure you pay very close attention to past behavior, as “Actions do speak louder than words.”
Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Author’s Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers and Menstuff. To purchase Matchlines book please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com.To read Dr. Molly Barrow daily blog: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow White Papers visit: http://drmollybarrowpapersedu.blogspot.com/. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: My Relationship Answers http://www.blogtalkradio.com
posted by Dr. Molly @ 12:02 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home