Dr. Molly Barrow

The Official Dr. Molly Barrow Blog offers educational self help advice about relationships, business, dating, marriage, parenting, teenagers and children, self-esteem, love and romance. Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D in psychology and is the author of Matchlines for Singles and the self-esteem adventure series, Malia and Teacup Awesome African Adventure and Malia and Teacup Out on a Limb. Dr. Molly is a relationship and psychology expert host on progressiveradionnetwork.com and television guest.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Abused? Relationship Expert Author and Television Radio Guest Dr. Molly Barrow Advice

Were you a victim of childhood abuse?

When we are children, how we are treated by others helps to define our definition of who we are, our "self." If you were unfortunately in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person and suffered abuse when you were a child, that is an event that happened to you. However, it is not your shame - it is the abuser's shame. The abuser bears all the burden of what transpires to a child. A child is innocent and hungry for love, and will take any road that leads to the affection and attention they crave. A child can be manipulated into believing they deserve abuse by older evil or sick adults.
If you are now an adult and still feel the heaviness of your tragic childhood it is time to make a change in your thinking. It is not our place to be revengeful and bitter, but I do I love the concept of Karma where bad deeds boomerang and return to hurt the perpetrator. I also love the idea of the agony that awaits the perpetrator as they attempt to explain and justify his or her cruelty to a higher power. But, sometimes in their lifetime the wicked escape discovery and punishment. The child grows up with often secret, post-traumatic stress from the abuse. Our goal is to minimize the residual damage and start living life fresh. To do this we have to lose the childhood definition of your "self" and replace it with an adult-perspective definition-one that you write. If you finish the sentence, " I am the kind of person who.... wins, loves, thrives, forgives, moves on, protects children, laughs and succeeds" then you begin to remake yourself the way you can be, not how you were. Redefine yourself not by what has been done to you but by the way you choose to live your life today.
More on this subject in my book Matchlines.

Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics, a member of the American Psychological Association and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health and Women’s World. Please visit: http://www.askdrmolly.com
To read articles by Dr. Molly please visit: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Molly_Barrow


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