How to Stop Fighting!! Relationship expert Dr. Molly Barrow
Are you fighting with the one that you wish you were making love with? Is it really possible to turn a relationship around and get back to being Sweethearts? When should a couple who argues get help with their relationship? Check out the answers to these questions and learn five simple warning signs that indicate a relationship may need help.
1. Are your arguments happening more frequently?
Every couple has disagreements and conflicts once in a while. However, if you are fighting several times a week or even daily, that is too often. You may be having the same argument over and over without ever coming to an agreement. Enhance your communication skills and learn to solve your problems together.
2. Does a good time become a disaster when one or both of you has a sudden mood shift and the good time blows up into a ruined mess?
The inability to have any good times without some rough moments means your relationship is becoming depleted. A relationship can disintegrate to the point where it fails to nourish you or your partner emotionally. Conflict is exhausting and one area of disagreement can effect the rest of your relationship until you forget the good qualities and see only the fighting. Call a truce and try to have some fun together to help keep your love alive.
3. Have you had a fight in public over something fairly trivial?
Some proud people find public displays to be horribly embarrassing and humiliating. The fight may be forgotten but anger over a shaming experience may linger a long time. Mutual respect means protecting each others feelings, in private and in public arenas.
4. Is one partner increasingly drinking, drugging, or taking prescription medication?
Too often substance use or abuse is an escape from the hard work of communicating and compromise. A relationship can be destroyed by substance abuse. After a few drinks, a fight can turn into a shoving match, broken glass and worse. If your relationship is suffering from abuse of any kind, get professional help immediately.
5. When a fight starts, can neither one of you pull out of the tailspin?
Fighting can be a bad habit with a pattern that becomes more difficult to break each time the argument is repeated. Some fights start over perceived slights or misinterpretations, yet end up a full blown crisis that takes several days to run its course. Try to agree on a signal word that will help you and your partner take a step back and three deep breaths.
If you and your lover are experiencing any of these symptoms, you can agree to read some helpful books, talk to a therapist or good friend, or attend a relationship class to teach you new ways to handle old conflict. Your relationship will thrive from the positive attention that you give in place of all that negativity. Far wiser to learn to be joyful with each other and ignore the irritations and annoyances.
BIO: Introducing the new relationship compatibility test, Match Lines Systems for Successful Relationships for Singles, Couples and Business by psychology expert, Dr. Molly Barrow. Official Web Site: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Find love and healthy relationship advice for dating, pre-marital, marriage, and business relationships. Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, "Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love," ISBN 159507158X. As an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Authors Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor, Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women's Health, Harvard Business School, Women's World and Shrink About This columnist for Menstuff.
1. Are your arguments happening more frequently?
Every couple has disagreements and conflicts once in a while. However, if you are fighting several times a week or even daily, that is too often. You may be having the same argument over and over without ever coming to an agreement. Enhance your communication skills and learn to solve your problems together.
2. Does a good time become a disaster when one or both of you has a sudden mood shift and the good time blows up into a ruined mess?
The inability to have any good times without some rough moments means your relationship is becoming depleted. A relationship can disintegrate to the point where it fails to nourish you or your partner emotionally. Conflict is exhausting and one area of disagreement can effect the rest of your relationship until you forget the good qualities and see only the fighting. Call a truce and try to have some fun together to help keep your love alive.
3. Have you had a fight in public over something fairly trivial?
Some proud people find public displays to be horribly embarrassing and humiliating. The fight may be forgotten but anger over a shaming experience may linger a long time. Mutual respect means protecting each others feelings, in private and in public arenas.
4. Is one partner increasingly drinking, drugging, or taking prescription medication?
Too often substance use or abuse is an escape from the hard work of communicating and compromise. A relationship can be destroyed by substance abuse. After a few drinks, a fight can turn into a shoving match, broken glass and worse. If your relationship is suffering from abuse of any kind, get professional help immediately.
5. When a fight starts, can neither one of you pull out of the tailspin?
Fighting can be a bad habit with a pattern that becomes more difficult to break each time the argument is repeated. Some fights start over perceived slights or misinterpretations, yet end up a full blown crisis that takes several days to run its course. Try to agree on a signal word that will help you and your partner take a step back and three deep breaths.
If you and your lover are experiencing any of these symptoms, you can agree to read some helpful books, talk to a therapist or good friend, or attend a relationship class to teach you new ways to handle old conflict. Your relationship will thrive from the positive attention that you give in place of all that negativity. Far wiser to learn to be joyful with each other and ignore the irritations and annoyances.
BIO: Introducing the new relationship compatibility test, Match Lines Systems for Successful Relationships for Singles, Couples and Business by psychology expert, Dr. Molly Barrow. Official Web Site: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Find love and healthy relationship advice for dating, pre-marital, marriage, and business relationships. Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, "Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love," ISBN 159507158X. As an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Authors Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor, Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women's Health, Harvard Business School, Women's World and Shrink About This columnist for Menstuff.
posted by Dr. Molly @ 11:02 PM
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