Holiday Hurting Heart
Dr. Molly Barrow
There is nothing like the holidays to remind you of what you have lost. When true love leaves a scar on your heart, the holidays have a way of ripping open the wound and feelings seem to spill everywhere. Suddenly, you are yelling at your secretary or impatient with small children and pets. Any bounce left in you disappears along with patience and compassion. Your heart is aching and the pain is overwhelming. Every Holiday song, television commercial or film reminds you that you are lonely and miserable. The spirit of giving is nowhere to be found. Your instincts are to curl up in a ball and wait out the holidays beginning in November, especially the most treacherous of all, New Years Eve.
Here are a few ways to cope with the Holidays and your hurting heart.
1. Stop Running. Stop. Go somewhere alone and feel. You may be trying so hard to avoid the old memories that you are prolonging the pain. You may need a good cry and presto, you feel good again.
2. Skip the Booze. Alcohol is a depressant. Right now, you need to feel better, not, worse. Pass on the cocktails and take a forty-minute walk until you sweat. Your body will feel relived.
3. Gather. Isolation is good for a short time, especially, if you are balling your eyes out. Then you need friends and family around so you won't feel so alone. Avoid isolating yourself just because you are bad company.
4. Continue. You have a right to love and think about anyone that you want to. You never have to stop loving someone even if he or she is dead or remarried. As long as you are not bothering them, you can adore them forever.
5. Recover. This too shall pass. People recover from terrible pain, but it takes time. You will feel better gradually. Imperceptibly, the bounce will return to your step and your smile will brighten your face once more. Love can come again and it will. Be kind to yourself in the meantime.
Introducing the new relationship compatibility test, Match Lines Systems for Successful Relationships for Singles, Couples and Business by psychology expert, Dr. Molly Barrow. Official website: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Find love and healthy relationship advice for dating, pre-marital, marriage, and business relationships. Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, "Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love," ISBN 159507158X. As an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Authors Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor, Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women's Health, Harvard Business School, Women's World and Shrink About This columnist Menstuff.
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