What's Your Burka? Relationship author expert Dr. Molly Barrow
Shrink About This
by Dr. Molly Barrow
What’s Your Burka?
Do you ever think about the artificial limits that individuals allow a society to put on them? Most blacks in America would agree there is a ceiling, a prejudice prism that blocks all but the color white in many business and social arenas. Women in Muslim countries suffer harshly from male dominance, and are expected to wear head scarves in Turkey and burkas in Afghanistan. Some women say, in front of their husbands, that they prefer to wear a burka to prevent ogling by men. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but stares will never hurt you. Muffled hearing, restricted vision and poor maneuverability from the heavy hot tents are not so different than Japanese foot binding, Victorian corsets or huge powdered wigs in London. Yearning for the simplistic uniforms of Mao’s China, yet?
Let’s think about this in more personal terms. How do you allow others to dictate and design your short life on Earth?
How far do you go in your dress to be considered good enough or deemed “appropriate?” Do you curl your eyelashes carefully and coat them with toxic tar? Do you squeeze your hard working toes into pointed high heels that cause bunions and back aches to grow? Do you take a colored piece of material and tie it intricately in a neck bulge like a turkey’s wattle? Do you wear a wool blend jacket at work in the heat of summer? Surely these behaviors appear ridiculous and odd to all uncivilized societies.
I understand why we brush and floss our teeth after eating. Athletic shoes are a great boon to our exercise program. But society loves to dictate to others old left over behaviors that are simply ridiculous.
For example, let’s say a female writer must go out on an interview. Many would agree the writer’s uniform consists of pajama pants, a worn, soft, Pima cotton t-shirt, flip flops and a sweatshirt. The process of changing into a corporate person is lengthy and uncomfortable. Starting at the bottom, we begin with polished toenails hobbling in spiky heels, constrictive nylons squeezing one’s blood flow to a trickle, a panty-line-free thong (what the hell!) and a skirt that requires one’s knees to be glued together when bending, removing ones carcass from a car or sitting in a deep chair. This is an impossible task and eventually earns one the reputation of a Sharon Stone Flasher.
My Goodness! We are only dressed waist high. Continuing on, take the bra. It is not comfortable and has been indicated in breast cancer rumors. Desperately worried that our breasts will not be considered pert enough if allowed to be free, we bind them in elastic, micro fiber, and plastic. A shirt is necessary to cover up what we have just worked so hard to lift, wrap and present. Now, hang metals, trinkets and rocks from your neck, wrist, and fingers and through the punched holes in your earlobes so that you can call attention to each body part’s loveliness. Next, don the jacket, just like the boys, so you can sweat, too. Add shoulder pads to improve your power statement.
Wait, you can not go out with just your face. You must paint it first. Nine layers of toxic chemicals will be sufficient: moisturizer, base, powder, shadow, eyeliner, lip liner, lipstick and gloss. Do not forget sun block. Your hair has also been cut, colored, highlighted, straightened (just in case you look too ethnic), then sprayed and glossed. Are we frigging ready, yet?
A mist of perfume will help to mask the sweat and toxic skin cell smell. Sling a heavy cowhide sack on your shoulder, carrying your survival equipment necessary for the next two hours, and lift a briefcase with the other hand. Oh, don’t you look burkaed.
The elaborate and often painful dress code of corporate America is archaic and punishing for females and silly sweaty for males. Would forest killing, cruel animal torturers and just plain nasty people chill with a change of wardrobe? Or too terrified that a member of the Appropriate Behavior Club might find their casual dress too sophomoric, do business persons conform and join in with scorning the hippy-type rebels who indulge in “business casual.”
Tomorrow morning you will stand in the harsh light of your closet, faced with sludging your way through the ritual of looking “nice” once again? Or, perhaps, will your heart rebel as you fantasize about escaping to mountain tops, white sand beaches or a fishing boat where you are free, free to wear cotton. Choose bravely to be burkaless, if you can.
Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Author’s Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Harvard Business School, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers, Hitched Magazine and Menstuff. Official website: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com Love and healthy relationship coaching for pre-marital, marriage, dating and business relationships. Introducing the new relationship compatibility test by psychology expert, Dr. Molly Barrow on July 15, 2007.
by Dr. Molly Barrow
What’s Your Burka?
Do you ever think about the artificial limits that individuals allow a society to put on them? Most blacks in America would agree there is a ceiling, a prejudice prism that blocks all but the color white in many business and social arenas. Women in Muslim countries suffer harshly from male dominance, and are expected to wear head scarves in Turkey and burkas in Afghanistan. Some women say, in front of their husbands, that they prefer to wear a burka to prevent ogling by men. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but stares will never hurt you. Muffled hearing, restricted vision and poor maneuverability from the heavy hot tents are not so different than Japanese foot binding, Victorian corsets or huge powdered wigs in London. Yearning for the simplistic uniforms of Mao’s China, yet?
Let’s think about this in more personal terms. How do you allow others to dictate and design your short life on Earth?
How far do you go in your dress to be considered good enough or deemed “appropriate?” Do you curl your eyelashes carefully and coat them with toxic tar? Do you squeeze your hard working toes into pointed high heels that cause bunions and back aches to grow? Do you take a colored piece of material and tie it intricately in a neck bulge like a turkey’s wattle? Do you wear a wool blend jacket at work in the heat of summer? Surely these behaviors appear ridiculous and odd to all uncivilized societies.
I understand why we brush and floss our teeth after eating. Athletic shoes are a great boon to our exercise program. But society loves to dictate to others old left over behaviors that are simply ridiculous.
For example, let’s say a female writer must go out on an interview. Many would agree the writer’s uniform consists of pajama pants, a worn, soft, Pima cotton t-shirt, flip flops and a sweatshirt. The process of changing into a corporate person is lengthy and uncomfortable. Starting at the bottom, we begin with polished toenails hobbling in spiky heels, constrictive nylons squeezing one’s blood flow to a trickle, a panty-line-free thong (what the hell!) and a skirt that requires one’s knees to be glued together when bending, removing ones carcass from a car or sitting in a deep chair. This is an impossible task and eventually earns one the reputation of a Sharon Stone Flasher.
My Goodness! We are only dressed waist high. Continuing on, take the bra. It is not comfortable and has been indicated in breast cancer rumors. Desperately worried that our breasts will not be considered pert enough if allowed to be free, we bind them in elastic, micro fiber, and plastic. A shirt is necessary to cover up what we have just worked so hard to lift, wrap and present. Now, hang metals, trinkets and rocks from your neck, wrist, and fingers and through the punched holes in your earlobes so that you can call attention to each body part’s loveliness. Next, don the jacket, just like the boys, so you can sweat, too. Add shoulder pads to improve your power statement.
Wait, you can not go out with just your face. You must paint it first. Nine layers of toxic chemicals will be sufficient: moisturizer, base, powder, shadow, eyeliner, lip liner, lipstick and gloss. Do not forget sun block. Your hair has also been cut, colored, highlighted, straightened (just in case you look too ethnic), then sprayed and glossed. Are we frigging ready, yet?
A mist of perfume will help to mask the sweat and toxic skin cell smell. Sling a heavy cowhide sack on your shoulder, carrying your survival equipment necessary for the next two hours, and lift a briefcase with the other hand. Oh, don’t you look burkaed.
The elaborate and often painful dress code of corporate America is archaic and punishing for females and silly sweaty for males. Would forest killing, cruel animal torturers and just plain nasty people chill with a change of wardrobe? Or too terrified that a member of the Appropriate Behavior Club might find their casual dress too sophomoric, do business persons conform and join in with scorning the hippy-type rebels who indulge in “business casual.”
Tomorrow morning you will stand in the harsh light of your closet, faced with sludging your way through the ritual of looking “nice” once again? Or, perhaps, will your heart rebel as you fantasize about escaping to mountain tops, white sand beaches or a fishing boat where you are free, free to wear cotton. Choose bravely to be burkaless, if you can.
Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, “Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love,” ISBN 159507158X. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics; a member of the American Psychological Association, Screen Actors Guild, and Author’s Guild and is a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert in the film, My Suicide, documentaries Ready to Explode and KTLA Impact, NBC news, PBS In Focus, WBZT talk radio and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, The Nest, MSN.com, Yahoo, Match.com, N Magazine, Women’s Health, Harvard Business School, Women’s World and Shrink About This columnist for Scripps newspapers, Hitched Magazine and Menstuff. Official website: http://www.DrMollyBarrow.com. Dr. Molly Barrow Radio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com Love and healthy relationship coaching for pre-marital, marriage, dating and business relationships. Introducing the new relationship compatibility test by psychology expert, Dr. Molly Barrow on July 15, 2007.
posted by Dr. Molly @ 5:48 PM
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